Temple University Students "Talk Frankly" with Laurel House and NBC10's Tracy Davidson

Today's edition of the Temple News (a publication at Temple University in Philadelphia, Pa.) has a story by Temple News writer Sergei Blair about last week's campus event about dating violence. Laurel House's Tommie Wilkins, director of domestic violence education, and NBC10 anchor Tracy Davidson led the presentation. Read the article in its entirety below or by clicking here.

Students ‘talk frankly’ about abuse
November 10, 2009 by Sergei Blair

An NBC10 anchor and local abuse shelter education coordinator teamed up to discuss dating violence and domestic abuse at a campus event.

The issue of dating violence and domestic abuse is seldom discussed publicly. For many victims, it’s a personal subject. Some Temple students, however, attended an event last week at the Student Center to share their personal experiences and give encouragement to other abuse victims.

About 50 students and faculty members attended the event “Talking Frankly,” hosted by the Dean of Students Office. The hour-and-a-half talk, led by Tommie Wilkins, director of training and education at Laurel House domestic abuse shelter in Norristown, was highlighted with a special appearance by NBC 10 anchor Tracy Davidson.

The two discussed dating and domestic abuse and how to handle situations of abuse, along with personal stories of how domestic violence affected them.

“I grew up with domestic violence, so I witnessed it for a long time, the control that somebody can have over another person,” Davidson told the audience.

Unfortunately for many in situations similar to Davidson’s, the problem of abuse can follow its victims into their college years. Recent data on college dating violence and abuse from the National Center for Victims of Crime indicates that 60 percent of acquaintance rapes on college campuses occur in causal or steady relationships. The report says of all documented cases, 54 percent of dating violence victims stay in physically abusive relationships.

Wilkins identified the cycle of violence as a three-step process that most couples find themselves in during their relationships: a tension-building phase, then a violence and abuse phase, followed by an apologetic honeymoon phase. She said each step of the cycle develops over time and may reveal itself in subtle ways without others suspecting anything. The cycle only ends when someone involved in it takes action to end it, she said.

“The abuser is not going to let it go,” Wilkins said. “If it’s the abuser ending it, it will end in death.”

During the discussion, an open forum was provided for students to ask questions. Some took the opportunity to open up and share their own stories of how dating abuse affected their lives. One student was overcome with emotions when she recalled instances of emotional abuse and bullying she suffered from acquaintances on campus and how her boyfriend ended up being the one person she could lean on through rough times.

“He knew how to take the emotional abuse that I felt from this school and hold me. All I wanted was someone to hear me and understand what I was going through,” she said.

Sexual crimes do not seem to dominate the crime statistics at Temple, which generally sees high numbers of robberies, thefts and aggravated assaults. According to figures from Campus Safety Services’ 2009 Annual Security and Fire Safety report, there were four documented cases of forcible sex offenses last year on Main Campus. That number decreased by 71 percent from 14 cases reported in 2007.

Wilkins explained that no matter what type of relationship it may be, the issue of dating and domestic abuse all boils down to a single issue – the power of control.

Wilkins said the power of control stems from the past and ultimately affects most relationships in the future. She added the most common way of thinking of most abusers have a lot to do with taking advantage of power they never had.

“Even though I grew up in a great home, somewhere in my life I felt powerless and out of control,” she explained. “This relationship is how I get that control back.”

Wilkins and Davidson teamed up on behalf of Laurel House, an independent nonprofit organization that provides shelter, medical care and legal advocacy, plus a free 24-hour help hotline for victims of abuse.After the discussion, students were offered resources for abuse prevention. Several on-campus clubs and organizations, including the Health Education Awareness Resource Team provided assistance and literature on the topic.

Among others, one small organization with a big presence at the event was LIFT. As part of a larger group, the National Student Partnerships founded by college undergraduates in 1998 to work side-by-side with low-income community members and college students, LIFT at Temple handles issues like poverty, healthcare, employment and education.

Student volunteer Trang Pham said her organization is also dedicated to helping victims of abuse.“We’ve seen a couple of times when our clients come in with bruises, and we just want to know how we can help them and how we can bring up the topic without making them feel uncomfortable,” she said.Although the event was primarily geared toward females, as they more often find themselves in abusive situations, several male students and faculty members joined the conversation as well.

“There are women out there who are physically and psychologically [abusive] to their boyfriends and husbands,” Wilkins said. “It’s no longer a gender issue where there’s this big guy beating up poor, helpless women. There are some scary women out there.”

Sergei Blair can be reached at sergei.blair@temple.edu.

Thank you, Sergei, for covering this event and raising awareness through your reporting about domestic abuse.

Mirror, Mirror Prompts Discussion About Dating Violence

Laurel House is a member of Tri-County Community Network, which recently worked with students at Pottstown High School (Pottstown, Pa.) on a student production called "Mirror, Mirror" about dating violence.

Here's the article from the Pottstown Mercury, 11/7/09. Laurel House extends congratulations to all the performers in this production for using your talents to bring attention to such an important issue.

POTTSTOWN — Pottstown High School students are playing their part to bring awareness to National Domestic Violence Month. Members of the Pottstown High Acting Troupe, under the direction of Joseph Perrone, performed "Mirror, Mirror" to a student audience. The project was a collaborative effort with the TriCounty Community Network. Cast members were Melissa Barboza, Isaih Robinson, Jessica Rhoads, Braxton Johnson, Dequan Washington and Hayley Steltz. Amanda Thomas was assistant director. Stage manager was Alex Argue.Representatives of Laurel House, Diamond Credit Union, Creative Health Services and Family Services led small group discussions about safe dating.

Laurel House's BFFs Make Girls Night Out a Success

Saks Fifth Avenue in Bala Cynwyd was the place to be on Wednesday, October 7 when more than 125 Laurel House supporters and their BFFs enjoyed a festive Girls Night Out.

Chaired by Heather Andrews and Amanda Beeler, GNO's proceeds will benefit Laurel House's domestic violence education programs throughout Montgomery County.

Attendees enjoyed a night of shopping, tarot card readings, hand massages, and fine wine.

Laurel House is especially grateful to all of its BFFs, especially Saks Fifth Avenue for hosting the event and A la Maison, the new French Bistro in Ardmore which generously donated all the catering for the evening and recently voted "Best New Restaurant 2009" by Main Line Today.

Photos from the event can be viewed and purchased at Susan Scovill On the Main Line.

Thank you to everyone for making Girls Night Out such a tremendous success for Laurel House's domestic violence programs!

Laurel House's Tommie Wilkins to Speak at Saint Joseph's University Program 9/29 on Dating Violence

Students from the Rape Education and Prevention (R.E.P.P.) program at Saint Joseph's University have organized an awareness event scheduled for this evening, September 29, which will feature Laurel House's Tommie Wilkins as a speaker.

Ms. Wilkins, who is Laurel House's director of domestic violence education and training, will be speaking to the Saint Joseph's community about dating violence and healthy relationships. The Empty Place at the Table will also be on display.

The speaking event is part of a month long series of programs and activities at Saint Joseph's designed to raise awareness about interpersonal violence and safe dating. (Among the month-long events is the annual Kristin's Krusade, a 5K run/walk fundraiser scheduled for October 4 at SJU to benefit The Kristin Mitchell Foundation, named in memory of a SJU alumna who was killed as a result of dating violence.)

Laurel House is proud to be a community partner with Saint Joseph's University and its Rape Education and Prevention program, which distributes awareness materials around campus and organizes Take Back the Night events, among others.

We also thank Racquel Bergen, Chair of the Sociology Department at Saint Joseph's University, R.E.P.P. faculty liaison, and nationally-recognized expert on violence against women, for allowing us to be part of such an important effort.